When I was pregnant my mother told me one thing that whatever the mother does, the baby feels all the emotions and that thing stuck in my head. I made sure to just stay positive, come what may. I read all the positive and happy books, watched positive shows, listened to music and meditated as well. The thing which I didn’t do at all was staying away from watching any delivery videos and asking about experiences from my friends, who had already gone through this.
So, I was all big and round like a football in my 39th week, my hospital’s visits were reduced and my doctor asked me to visit when I had labor pains. I was due to deliver on 16th November 2018 and till 14th November there were no signs from the baby. It seemed she was really comfortable there. My doctor asked me to visit her on 14th November and she would then take a call. Not to mention I had the best doctor for my pregnancy (Dr Jayasree Sunder” gynaecologist head in ‘Rainbow Hospital.’ She was so cheerful and warm that even if i used to have any kind of anxiety or fear , it used to just disappear the moment i used to see her. When I told her about my delivery fear she asked me to watch ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’. isn’t that really cool?
All of us were excited and I was scared a little bit. I bid adieu my house on 14th November around 2pm , as I had a feeling that the time had come. A big thanks to my husband (Karan) who was with me throughout my journey. My mom, mother-in-law and Karan all were there with me.
There was no dilation but my doctor asked me to get admitted as she saw some signs. I got admitted to the hospital at 2.30pm. I was filled with all the emotions – anxiety, fear, nervousness, happiness, anxiousness and what not. In a span of time I was surrounded by all the machines. Though I couldn’t feel anything that time my contractions were more like twisting twirls. I was quite comfortable that time but kept thinking of what would happen next, how much do I have to wait etc. Karan was throughout with me. He was very excited and chilled out. I guess his positive energy kept me calm.
Ok, so it’s 5pm and I have started to get a few contractions as I was induced around 3:30pm, attached to the machine which was showing me my baby’s heartbeat making me so amused every single time i was looking at it.Till 9.25pm there were no signs of baby coming out as my contractions were more like cramps in my tummy. Doctor visited me and told me that it seemed the baby would be out on 15th November 2018 only. I was quite disappointed and nervous as well thinking what would happen to me next. Thanks to Karan he kept on distracting me from thinking anything negative by making my videos after every 2-3 hours.
The whole night was a nightmare for me, I was drinking water throughout the night, walking in corridors sometimes accompanied by my mother and mother-in-law. Poor guys were awake with me the whole night. The worst part about the whole night was internal check ups which kept happening after every few hours by the junior doctors. They were really crazy. I was 5 cms dilated around 3-4 am and the frequency of contractions was increasing by time. I was tired and wasn’t able to sleep the whole night. Though the nurses were asking me to sleep as according to them I was heading for a really long day.
Time – 7am
Date 15th November 2018
Yes, my water didn’t break naturally, so the procedure was done manually and all the mothers who have gone through the process can totally understand what I went through at that moment. With being in labor pains for almost 12-13 hours and screaming in pain, lying on the bed with nursing coming doing internal check ups time and again. I guess my brain just stopped that moment. All I could feel that time was pain just pain. By 3 pm i was in major pain 10 cms dilated and all numb with the pain.
My doctor couldn’t see me in that pain and she seeked my permission for giving me an Epidural shot and I without even thinking even for a second said yes to it. My contractions were at their highest and epidural couldn’t do much but yes even a little relief at that time was great. I was shifted to the delivery room, with 3-4 doctors and 4-5 nurses. I was made all ready for the pushing process with everybody encouraging me to the fullest. All I could hear was PUSH PUSH PUSH and PUSH. After pushing almost for 45 minutes, doctors said that the head of the baby was a little big and therefore, it was taking too much time. I was super exhausted by then had lost all my energy and wasn’t able to do much then. After all the hard work, doctors decided that I had to go for C-Section. I have never been so disappointed in my life the way I was that time. I felt disgusted.
After that it was just a matter of a few minutes, I was taken in the OT. I could hear murmuring around me. I was lying unconscious over there. All i could remember was the sensation i felt below my rib cage, I asked Karan, if the baby had come . He along with the anaesthesiologist kept diverting my mind.
At 4.54pm I heard a cry and I asked the doctor, “Is it a girl ?” She said Yes, and after that I just remembered looking at her when she was all covered white, swelled up. After that I don’t remember anything till they shifted me in the room. I woke up, feeling as if I was waking up after ages, I tried to get up but was not able to, as I was in pain.
Few minutes later the nurse came in with my baby, I held her and just kept looking at her. That moment became still for me. I felt as if we were trying to say the word “FINALLY” to each other.
Long read ?? isn’t it ? I relived my moment by writing it all. The whole experience was quite crazy and to be remembered. Yes, it wasn’t horrifying at all. All I could say to all the mothers – to – be just live that moment. That is the moment when you are actually in THE PRESENT. Just think of only one thing: ‘We women are so powerful that we can do anything.’
All the very best to all the mothers who will be going to deliver in 2020. And respect to all the ones who have already delivered.
